I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
