Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
