My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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