Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
