im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
