why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
