Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm like, not good at living.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
