Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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