Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
too bad you live with your parents still
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize