just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
there is puke in my bra ... again
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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