Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
