Your tits are I can't wait for
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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