I just made out with a guy for $7.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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