How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
