Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
