Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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