Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
