Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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