It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
