My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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