I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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