I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just puked most of my soul out..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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