Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
