Duck Duck Cougar?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
