have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
