no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
