Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize