some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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