Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
