apparently the secret to your success is patron
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
