your thong is hanging out like whoa
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
only if we run a train.
done.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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