Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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