I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
