Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
