I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
