So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
