Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
