Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
