only if we run a train.
done.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just pee around me
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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