I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
