There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
