I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
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