Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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