omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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