I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
