this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He better not be in your backpack
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Randomize
