Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
