We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
