just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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