Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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