I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
