he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize