awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
