winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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