Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She bit a glass in half.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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