i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just found a bag of teeth...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize