I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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