I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
