Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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